Correction

OOPS!, my bad

In the post ' Club just aint a Club..' there is a correction on Line 14.

It should read, 'She drove to my parents house' and not I picked her from some kampung as earlier said'

Tks

Dilemma

Haih... words can only be words, actions are actions, what it means can be interprated in many ways...

I had a friend say to me ;

'Dude, get out of it'

'Dude, why just stay in and get hurt'

'Dude, she just using you'

'Dude, dont you see? you are the filler, the one she looks for when no one else is around'

Haih....

Then she tells me, think what you wanna think. yeah maybe I am the bad one, maybe I am using you.

'But if I do this and that for you, why do I?'

I dunno what to belive anymore, I just dont...

"Father , Father.

who never turned away,

When I walked away,

To seek a love,

In a world of lies"

"Argh!!! They just twirl you round their little finger they do, they use you till you cant give no more, then they just leave you to bleed with the vultures".... Alex Martin

A club just aint a club...

Saturday 10/5/2008

Woke up like 7.30.. on a SATURDAY...

DAMN!!! I Dont even wake up dat early when i work...
Offered to send someone back to their home town..

Picked ehr up sent her, then went for my appointment at 10 to send my car in..
time passed, 10.10, 10.15, 10.20.. FUCK!!!

Shop dude still sleeping.. so screw it la..

Decided to do it myself, baught the parts needed,

Went home, but the Sun was soooooo hot.. decided to sleep instead
hahaha

Adrian was leaving to Vietnam, and also his birthday, so there was this small gathering/party in Barclub.

So asked K if she wanted to come alond, and she said yes..

She drove to my parents house and parked her car... (Corrected Line)

Says she wanna go to Backyard to her friends perform, so i said ok, we can go there for a while then after to barclub..

So reached Backyard bout 11, as we were about to go in she comes up to me and says
' err... dont be surprised k, we might bump into someone here'

'who' I said

'M....'

okay... so basically you dragged me here to be a lampost? you only had the whole time in the car to tell me right?

Anyways thanks, the minute he comes, i'll ditch you k..

He came, I left.

Went down to barclub, refused to answer her calls..

I dunno.. was i overreacting? Or was I just hurt? Or was I just refusing to further get hurt?
Was it vengance? I dunno...

I just felt shitty... hurting her, hurts me more... Haih..

Anyways, on normal occassions, this would have been the oppurtunity to get drunk, But trying my best to stay disciplined, as, I have quit alcohol.. (YES I HAVE!!!!!!!) maybe for a few months i guess.. try... at least..

Being sober in a club, is just weird.. you look around and see the stoooopid things ppl do, and then you think.. damn is dat how I am when i;m drink?

Anyways, its been 4 nights of parties, total days 9. and all without alcohol!!!

Yay...

Had a tough time sleeping... very tough.. she was just all over my thoughts..

I felt hurt, I did not like hurting her.. not at all....

Scary....

Friday 9/5/2008

Supposed to go for a brthday party, CO, in the Sanctuary.. oh oh oh wait..

Bout the birthday party, was this chick i used to know, bla bla bla, but her sister..
England not very powderfull la.

Got the invitation via SMS which read

'Hey alex, please come for my birthday party tonight k,
About 10 pm in Sanctually'

(notice Santually)

'I replied, where the F*** is Sanctually.. or do you mean Sanctuary?'

She goes, same thing la, same pronounciation ma' spelling only different'

Slap my forehead.. STOOOOOOOPID NYA

anyways back to the story at hand...

Was supposed to meet up With lilian to join as well,
Went to the gym, went by Bangsar to have some food.. *oh and K baught her sequins hehe)
Met up with Lilian who asked if Eddie could come (Li Lians ex boyfriend)
Eddie joined alon, now as i have not showered and changed yet decided to go home and chang 1st, thus had no choice but to invite Li and Ed to come along.

Went home with a Btl of Vodka.
Changed & showered, and still waiting for the arrivals of the guests of honours (Ed & LI) to arrive...

(In case you lost.... i left first as they had to get some stuff, supposed to be 10 mins only)

Anyways they finnaly arrived at 11.30pm.. which i then said 'LETS GO'
and they were like wait la, tired la, (Diu!)

So we started drinking the vodka, then there was this tension like thing going on between the two...

Alcohol and ex's.. dont go too well...

So now in Sanctually.. (just to please some dudes)


Bla bla bla.. Then Eddie start his nonsense...
wanting to jump off the building and etc if Li does not take him back
Oh gawd... STOOOPID...

Dude... go fuck someone... really..

Had to pull him off the balcony's ledge, then he kinda pushes me around, and finally,
as much as I hated doing this (Yeah right) I had to 'defend' myslef, Slapped the dude, and there he was passed out cold on the floor... but forgot to remove my ring, thus caused him a nice bleed...

haih

Left Sanctuary... Was contemplating if I should see K..

But then as she had an early morning and so did I, decided to go sleeeeeeeeep..

ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz

People will go....

Nobody listens

Nobody cares about it anymore

Jealousy

And I don't even know your name

But everybody gets it

In a blink it leaves you cold in the night

Jealousy

And I don't even know your name

Burned into your memory

People will go

People will come

People will lead you till your heart is numb

People will go

People will come

People will lead you till your heart is numb

I know exactly what you're thinking

Dejavu.....

Thursday 1/5/2008

The wound still bleeds, the pain still exist.... in the meantime ive sorta been seeing this person.. i dunno if seeing would be the right word, dunno wats it all about, maybe just close friends which i miscontruded... I dunno..

Had a morning meet with Mike, for some other work... Went to have a look at my car, and this other person.. hmmh i'll just call her 'K' la... was with me...

Told me she had a movie with someone, cool, i say, enjoy urself k...

Dropped her at Gardens, and i moved on home to practice some bass..

Promised Sean i would take him for a movie, so picked him up at 6.45 went to Gardens, booked a show for 9.00pm
damn.. like 2 hours.. wut to do..

Decided to go get something to eat...
Went down to Burger King, .... K called and then joined us with M...

walked around a bit, left them at 8..

Went for my movie, sat tru it...
K text me at about 10 ish... replied her..

Left the movies at bout 11.15.. still no reply called her 3 times no answer..

Starting to worry a lil..

Sent sean home...
Called her again still no answer...

More worrying...
Reached home... and he is not at home as well...

I called again no reply, checked with her housemate, she's not back..
My heart starts to pound...

Called D and got M's number, called M and also no answer..

and then i get a text from K... ' I'm with him'

yeah like ok... at least tell from the beggining la!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

twas bout 1am i think...

Anyways... another slap taken...

What goes up must come down....

Wednesday - 30/4/2008.
Sneaked off from D, avoided the beers with some stupid story i conjured up.. hehe
Had to reach 1U by 6.30pm to pick up Def, but then had to wait for a certain someone to come down, get in the car only to tell me 'errr.... actually ah, i not going with you la, someone pickin me up' LIKE HELLO DONT MAKE ME WAIT 30 MINS THEN TELL ME'!!!!!!!!

Anyways, went down to 1U.. arrived at 7.45.. got a lil shelling from def for being more than an hour late.. sigh...

Managed to calm her down... By saying 'we go eat later k' haha.. dat was easy...

ps : anyone reading this DONT tell her

Went down to LG, met with Joseph and Bri boy... got in to MODA, had some really strong drinks
Thanks to Leng from Zouk...

Sat down, MODA was alright, except the part that IT WAS LIKE 2 HOURS LONG!!!!!!!!!
during the awards there was no backstage assistants to pass the awards out, the president had to run back get the awards and then give it out, and plus the best thing happened.... Durin photoshoot, 1 of the awards the 'crystal' ball fel off... hahahah

Oh and btw.... I think it was 'Kasutpanas' doing the event... good job guys!!!!

Anyways... me and def left to have some dinner in Italianees... which was good, except she was a lil pre occupied with some work issues...

Then we went down to laundry to join some friends...
and there he stood...
Another face i just did not need to see....
Another slap, straigh to my face... ARGH!!!

She went to him, they laughed and they chatted and they hugged... how loving... yeah..
I was left to chil wit one of her friends...
Forced ti put on a fake smile through out the night...

It was the longest night of my life.. it felt like days, but in reality it was just 1.5 hours...

The lights when it came on, when the DJ say 'good night' it was probably the best thing i could have seen or heard... never have i been do happy!!!!

We left i asked her if she could go back wit her friend as i did not wanna eat, so she did....


sigh... even as friends I still get shot...

the night was over, the morning was near, but the wound just keeps bleeding....